Christmas Eve 2017

Mery Christmas all, we are 7 min into Christmas here n now. I just like to wish everyone a safe and happy holidays to all. We all deserve to feel loved, wanted, and part of something. For all those with all those things, u are rich indeed. How I yearn for my family. While I have remained to stay far away from those crutches that have crippled me in my past. Its now my family that I have refrained from. Ask and I will tell, wrongly accuse me, then I am no longer any part of your life. While I miss my family, I do not miss all the drama. But..... I am lonely. Even in my relationship, I feel so alone. This is not good at all. Kimmy is at the darkest place ever. Not seeing her son and her granddaughter is 1 of many reasons she is depressed. Not that im diagnosing her, but I do see the trends. Man its tough to not use that old friend. The old friend that kept me company oh so many nights, while all alone. My good old best friend hardly ever let me down, not like most friends and family.
     It feels sooo good to know that the above paragraph about the old friend is just bullshit. My old friend is a liar, thief, conniver, waste of life. With all the bullshit going on in my life nothing could make me go back. I've done the research, its still the same. It still leads u to certainty. You are certainly going to lie, cheat, steal, beg, borrow, and anything else you CAN do to get what u need.That's it, not sugar coated, just the fuckn way it is.
     If ya feel u just can't handle things, the kids, the bills, the pressures, the ole man, the ole lady, never ever never give up the hope that things will get better. No matter if you have been clean for 5 years or 5 min, u still deserve it. Do not ever sell yourself short, people will do that for you, DO NOT DO IT TO YOURSELF EVER.
    Merry Christmas All

                                    gary