drugs affect not just the user!!

Hi my name is Gary and i am an addict.I have a story that is just to sad but true.There was someone who was in a relationship with a man for 14 yrs.She says that for 10 yrs. he was the man of her dreams.They did things together,he accepted her kids from a previous relationship,they each thought that this was the one.After 10 yrs there were subtle changes.He started being a little bit late once in a while,just attributing it to working late.After a few times being late,it went from bad to worse.He started making excuses as to why they couldn't do this and why they couldn't do that.The women was starting to think that maybe her man was cheating.After awhile she confronted him,she asked him if he was having an affair,he laughed and said no of course not.Things werer a little better for awhile.Soon he was going back to the same stories about not tonight i got to help someone do something,or he would often use work for an exuse.About 3 weeks later he doesn't come home 1 night,she is really hurt.He says that he went out and got drunk and just crashed at a co-workers house.She was sure he was lying because the day he got home he looked very restless and not hungry at all.She thought that something was amiss.Usually when he came home drunk all he did was sleep and eat.Gradually she started to keep her defences up more often then not,still thinking he might be haveing an affair.Things were getting worse and it was happening fast.All of a sudden her man was starting maiking calls behind her back and then leaving.She contacted a detective agency to find out who he was having an affair with.In one week they came to her with some photos of himm driving and stopping in some well known drug area's,but that was it he was not spending anytime at anyone house for more them 20minWhen confronted he said he was going there just to try and find a long lost cousin.She was now sure he was lying,but beacause of what.She now knows that she should have left right then.She hung around because she thought that she deserved the truth.Then the dissconnection notices came,bank statements that he so eagerly snatched each month were picked up at the bank.In allmost 2 yrs. he had wiped out thier entire savings and went into arrears of roughly 10,000$.That was it.She no longer trusted the man that she fell in love with,because he was no longer the same man.Today she has been away 6 months.She is not sure where he is.The last she heard from a mutual friend was that he was caught stealing from his employer and was subsequently fird and charged.Being an addict it is easy for us to say"how could you not know?"Thats because when we are on dope we are amongst the best liars in the world.We could cry.beg,lie,cheat,steal,rob,hurt and destroy better then most.Its hard for someoine who has never experienced drug culture,to be able to put and answer to what we think the problem might be.Please believe me when i say this WE all have it in us to QUIT.Its just that some of will not.If i can do it so can you!!stay away from the Drug Playgrounds!!stay clean!!

One day at a time!!!

Hello,my name is Gary,and i am an addict.The new year has always been a time for me to use.It makes me very proud to say that i abstained .Along the same way we prepare for a night out on the town,i prepare for a quiet night at home.The urges that still call are no less evil these days.I am told that the mental obsession never leaves.It only lessens.So when i say that i have been clear of cocaine,crack and opiates for over 2 years,that does not mean that i ahve not thought about using.I think about using probally 1-5 times daily.I think about what would happen to me if i did.I think about how let down the people close to me would be.I think about how all the hard work would be thrown away.I think about relationships lost.I think about where it would lead me to.I am beginning to think healthy.When i was using the only thoughts about using were when,how and with who would i be using.Well i refuse to go to that place.I have suffered so much.And that pales in comparrison to how i made others suffer.I do not harbor many regrets,but the 1 i do is the regret of how much of my life I wasted on drugs and alcohol.

Happy New Year!!!!!

Hello world,today is january 1 2008.I feel great,usually this day involves being in bed until noon or later.Being sick and very ugly.Most times i would also be quite broke as well.Things are different today!!!Happy jan. 1sts is something that i welcome getting used to.Man my familly is proud to have a son, brother and uncle back.This is my 3rd new year that i have welcomed drug free.I am not a slave no more!!!Yesterday i watched A&E most of the day and night.The show intervention,was my therapy and continues to be.I do not attend meetings,so i have to find constructive things to do.Allthough i do not go to church,my higher power is close to me now at all times.I hope that you all have made some good choices that you will and can be very proud of.The feeling of making the right choices can be very fullfilling!!!Please feel free to drop me a line and i will try to be attentative.Remember what is said here stays here.I will give you my all.Nothing compares to giving back.I have been a taker for many years and am only now starting to reap the rewards giving back.They so outweigh all the taking i have done.Remember it is not a crime to fall down,The crime is not getting right back up!!!Thanks for visiting,happy new year and good luck finding sobriety!!!